It has been a month since I last updated my blog. Mainly because of some even more private reasons which I will not disclose online to the public. Only friends closer to me might know why I haven’t been recording my life stories.
I am just lazy.

Here’s a concise summary of interesting events, which I managed to encounter in my uninteresting lifestyle.

1) SAKAE STUNT

Brisk walked out of sakae sushi restaurant in weelock place without paying.

My friend whom I have not met for a year instigated this foolish stunt. I was caught, not by the security guard (as there isn’t one.), but by my own moral dilemma at the foot of the escalator.

Of course being a responsible and mature adult, I decided to turn around and pay for our dinner. Righteous is the word to describe my deed, and expensive is the word to describe my bill.

2) SHAKE THAT BODY FOR ME.

A sensational performance by the nus dance ensemble on a Friday night in LT 13 had me dazzled and seduced. Their sizzling dance moves coupled by catchy beats enthralled me for 2 hours. Not to mention Debbie’s participation made my tedious trip worthwhile.

Before the show I had planned to meet my ex-jc classmates at arts canteen. However, in my hurry I had forgotten to bring my phone out. To make things worse, I did not know my way around the school compound. In face of adversity, I only had one option.

I cried my heart out to the bus driver.

Nope, that most certainly did not happened as I took the initiative to ask the students around who, surprisingly, seems just as lost as to where LT 13 was.

I managed to find a public phone and called home and I informed my dad about my plight. Of course he gave me the, why-are-you-so-fucking-careless lecture and relayed my message to my friends. Eventually, we found one another and I supposed my friends are just being kind by not giving me another why-are-you-so-fucking-careless lecture.

The show started and immediately I was assaulted by a flesh parade. No complaints about that.

At the end of the day, I was inspired to take up adult ballet lessons from YMCA, and I was definitely, definitely, looking forward to school next semester.


3) FUNKAMANIA

Daryl won 3rd. 3 cheers!

4) BUTTERFLY DRILLS

Newly acquired passion to swim butterfly stroke whenever I am free. This is to relieve myself of a lot of accumulated stress lately. Furthermore, it helps build a stronger body and mind. I don’t feel like bitching about my sad problems at work. But rests assure that in god’s grace, I will be made stronger to overcome adversities.


5) SUNDAYS AT WESLEY

Starting to frequent 1120 am mass in Wesley Methodist church as I enjoyed their service very much.
Not because it resembles a karaoke session at k box.
But rather the pastor has a sense of humor, which is vital to keep me awake.
The sermon was accessible and very inspiring, which assisted my personal spiritual growth.

6) WEDNESDAY AT ZOUK

Ok, I realized 5) and 6) should not be placed one after the other.

Alternating between growing closer to god has nothing to do with growing a beer belly. I have not the slightest intentions to be sacrilegious. Just being slightly tactless. I am sure I know where to draw the line in my indulgence of senseless entertainment.

As you can guess from my tone, I am getting tired of clubbing simply because it is a waste of money and time. Not that I do not know how to enjoy myself, its just that I do not derive pleasure from dancing to the same music over and over again.

Which puzzles me as to why mambo kings can tolerate the endless repetitions of the same old songs every week. Why they can enjoy flaunting the same dance steps over and over again. If anything, I thought they resemble the ants dancing in ANTZ. Or worse, they remind me of the Singapore workout, or that stupid exercising programs implemented on half-awake primary school students during morning assembly.

I don’t suppose that I will be meeting the girl of my dreams when she is half drunk on the dance floor, rubbing asses with people’s groin or stuffing their armpits into people’s faces.
It is not that I will not club from now on, it’s just that I will go less often.

I’d rather save up and go on a holiday abroad.

7) TURN OFF!!

Celeste chong is not as pretty as I thought she was. Caught a glimpse of her at coffee bean bishan. She has an impressive figure though.

Cheryl fox is not the cool, suave, sophisticated, intelligent modern women I thought she was. Rather, I she appears to be kid-like and jaunty in person

JUNK IN BUNK.

On one rainy afternoon, I decided to take a bath and a quick nap. But I didn’t know that you could take a bath and a nap at the same time. Apparently, I do not sleep in the bathtub, neither do I have the luxury of a leaking water-bed to sleep on, I only happen to be staying on the top floor of an antebellum camp old enough to be a priceless antique but too worthless for any museum to house and exhibits this decaying wonder.
Yes, I agree staying on the top floor gives you a panoramic view of your scenic surroundings. Half-naked sweating men doing push ups after a 4 km run has always been a magnificent sight that accompanies me during Breakfast-in-bunk every morning at 0730. You almost get to see what lies inside an artillery gun barrel at aim. You also get to see your encik driving into camp and know that you have to get back to work.
It was always blissful before the storm arises.
Initially, I spotted a few drops of rain water seeping through hairline cracks in the age-old ceiling. Deceived by my wrong assumptions that the architect who built this camp is not an idiot, I turned around and took my toiletries. When I turned back, I found a waterfall in my bunk.
“How convenient. Now we can shower in the bunk. Hey, pass the soap.”
This was the first thought that went through my head.
“ Oh, fuck, my shoes.!” Some guy shouted obviously outraged by the unexpected downpour.
“ My dry clothes,.. And hey, john your cupboard is taking a shower.”
“Fuck!” I heard myself curse and I waded through the bunk to save my cupboard.
Expected mayhem follows such an unexpected disaster and everybody was trying to save his belongings from being drenched. I tried to place buckets and pails around the bunk but they were filling up so fast that I gave up eventually.
In the end, instead of taking a nap, we took pictures instead and just laugh at the whole ordeal.

HONG KONG AMERICAN IDOL

If you guys have watched the recent telecast of American Idol, you would have noticed an Asian middle-aged man with “No former training in singing and dancing.” Trying to impress the judges with his version of “She Bangs, she bangs!” Obviously oblivious to the stares and giggles he gets from the other contestants during the initial interview, nonetheless, he finished his audition, got ridiculed and walked briskly away from the auditorium with his yellow bag pack. Frankly speaking, I did laugh at the incident when it was broadcasted for the first time, but then I felt sorry for the guy and disgusted at media’s attempt to boost ratings by airing his auditions repeatedly. So if you are reading this Mr. Civil engineer who should not quit your day job. “You’ve got guts man! RESPECT!”

BROTHER OF MINE

This pesky little fellow,
Always quiet and mellow,
Has been quite a bundle of joy.

Although 7 years apart,
He seems very smart,
And can be very cute at times.

Every time I come back home,
I see him using my room,
Mugging and reading TIME

“I’ll beat you at SAMURAI SHODOWN.”
“Not before I make you a clown.”
I see my pillow fly.

I wrestle him to the ground
He makes lots of sound
“I’ll make you pay for your crime.”

In the end, he gave up,
I let him get up.
He said, “Bloody faggot, now you die!”

This pesky little fellow
Always quiet and mellow
Is James Guk, brother of mine.